The Lie We Believed for 20 Years

Two stories about escaping the pressure to be perfect, finding grace, and unlearning a false version of faith.

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In this post, we’re sharing two sides of the same struggle - one that’s more common than most people admit. You’ll find two stories told back to back, each offering a personal perspective on perfectionism, faith, and the pressure to perform.

Dalton’s story is about growing up in a Christian environment where perfection was expected and approval felt earned.

Isaac’s story follows a similar path, shaped by religious pressure and performance, but later transformed by entrepreneurship, grace, and a new understanding of growth.

Both stories unpack what happens when you try to earn love by being flawless - and what changes when you finally let that go.

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Dalton’s Story: The Pressure to Be Perfect

When I was around 12 years old, I made a decision that set me on a path that not many kids my age were thinking about. I committed to being completely obedient to every rule I was taught. My goal was to become what I jokingly think of now as a Christian machine - perfectly disciplined, unwavering in devotion, and always on track.

Growing up, there was an intense amount of pressure around what a true Christian looked like. I believed that if I met those expectations, I would be treated better within the church and held in higher regard by those around me. I thought approval - from others and from God - was tied to my ability to follow the rules with consistency and perfection.

But that's not how it played out.

Instead, I became laser-focused on performance, obsessed with spiritual perfection. I believed that if I did everything right, I would earn love, respect, and acceptance. I held tightly to the idea that any misstep would disappoint God or diminish my worth in the eyes of others.

I carried this mindset all the way into my early twenties - up to around age 23. Even now, there are moments when I feel my mind slipping back into that old framework. While the discipline developed was valuable, the belief that there’s no room for mistakes in the Christian life was not only damaging - it was entirely untrue.

So, what have I learned?