They Told You Obedience Was Weakness: They Lied
Obedience is a scary word for most.
To be completely honest, it’s a word I don’t like either.
In my life, I’ve pushed hard against it — sometimes in ways that hurt me and disrespected others.
But there’s one thing I’ve learned to love about this word: great strength comes from being obedient to a purpose greater than yourself.
Think about it — that goal, that career, that car, that relationship you want.
The promotion you’re chasing.
The respect you expect to earn.
All of it is shaped by how obedient you are to your goals.
Obedience walks hand in hand with discipline.
When we wake up and do what has to get done, we’re being obedient — to the goals we’ve set for ourselves or to the people we’ve chosen to align with (your boss, your company, your cause).
These are the areas of obedience I love because they show us exactly what’s required to move forward.
But obedience isn’t always simple... or is it?
What about in marriage?
( that’s not what this Substack is about.)
What about friendship?
Or government?
These are the places obedience starts to feel uncomfortable.
Why is that?
Why do we find it easy to obey a boss, a company, or even a government — whether we admit it or not — but struggle to obey God, our conscience, or moral truth?
Can I ask you something?
What is it that causes you to be disobedient?
Because when disobedience takes form, it becomes rebellion.
And while some rebellions have changed the world for the better, not every act of disobedience is noble.
Sometimes, it’s just us trying to escape accountability.
Here are a few reasons why most of us choose disobedience:
Film (Gladiator)
1. The Desire for Freedom
At its best, disobedience is a craving for freedom — to think, to live, to act without someone breathing down your neck, steering your life.
I was made for more than blind compliance.
But the same fire that fuels independence can burn into pride.
When freedom turns into rebellion for its own sake, it shifts from clarity to chaos.
That first rush of saying “no” can feel like power — but it often leaves you wandering without purpose.
“No man is free who is not master of himself.”
— Epictetus
Freedom without direction collapses into chaos.
Obedience, rightly placed, gives that freedom its form.
2. The Distrust of Authority
Some people disobey because they’ve seen power abused.
They’ve been lied to, manipulated, or controlled — and now obedience feels like surrendering to corruption.
That kind of skepticism can be healthy when paired with wisdom and accountability.
But when distrust hardens, it becomes cynicism.
The emotional core here is woundedness — a deep reluctance to be deceived again.
So instead of submitting to anything, they resist everything.
Their disobedience isn’t rebellion anymore — it’s self-protection turned into a prison.
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Wounded obedience can heal when it’s rooted in truth, not fear.
3. The Hunger for Significance (Good: Calling | Bad: Ego)
Some break from obedience because they feel unseen or unheard.
They want to matter — to make their own mark.
In its pure form, that’s how revolutions start: people refusing to bow to mediocrity.
But when it’s ego-driven, disobedience becomes a stage act — a way to prove worth instead of fulfill purpose.
It burns with insecurity disguised as boldness.
It looks like courage but often hides a fear of insignificance.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
— Philippians 2:3“When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Purpose requires humility.
Obedience to calling isn’t about spotlight — it’s about surrender.
4. The Impulse to Protect (Good: Conscience | Bad: Control)
Sometimes disobedience comes from love.
A parent breaks a rule to save a child.
A soldier refuses an order that violates conscience.
In those moments, disobedience becomes moral courage — a higher obedience to truth.
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
— Marcus Aurelius
But that same protective instinct can mutate into control.
The heart says, “I know better.”
And soon obedience feels like weakness.
The emotion here is fear — fear of harm, loss, or betrayal — that convinces us only disobedience can keep us safe.
5. The Seduction of Power (Good: Initiative | Bad: Pride)
Disobedience can feel powerful.
You take the wheel, make your own choices, and for a moment — you feel like a god.
That rush is what draws many people to it.
But that same feeling of control is deceptive.
It promises sovereignty but delivers isolation.
The emotion underneath is ambition — not anchored in purpose but driven by the thrill of self-rule.
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
— Proverbs 16:18“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
True strength doesn’t come from taking control — it comes from carrying responsibility with humility.
In Short
People disobey for the same reason they breathe — to feel alive, free, and significant.
But when obedience is seen as control, they miss its truth: real obedience isn’t about losing yourself; it’s about aligning yourself with something greater than you.
This is what I want to get at: obedience is beautiful.
You’ve been obedient before — maybe to your feelings, your impulses, your pride.
That can be good, but only when your direction is clear and your foundation is moral.
Understand what gets removed from your life when you decide to liberate yourself from every authority.
Your gut can be a good guide — as long as your morality stands on solid ground.
So, where does your morality come from?
If you don’t know that answer, it might be time to find it — before you decide to liberate yourself from everything else.
The Beauty Hidden in Obedience
Obedience isn’t about being controlled — it’s about alignment.
It’s the act of tuning your heart, mind, and actions to something higher than impulse or ego.
Think of it like a compass: when you obey what’s right, what’s true, what’s good — even when it’s inconvenient — you realign your inner world to peace.
You stop fighting every current and start flowing with purpose.
“He who obeys God, obeys himself.”
— Seneca
There’s a quiet strength in that.
The kind of strength that doesn’t need to prove itself because it’s grounded.
The kind that comes from knowing you’re walking in step with something bigger than your own desires.
From Chaos to Clarity
Every person knows what it feels like to be pulled in different directions — to chase what feels good but later leaves you empty.
The irony is that rebellion often promises freedom but ends up building cages out of consequences.
Obedience, on the other hand, can feel restrictive at first, but over time, it builds freedom that lasts.
When you’re obedient — not to control, but to conviction — your mind gets quieter.
Your choices start aligning with peace instead of pressure.
You stop needing constant validation because you’re living from a deeper why.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
— Romans 12:2
That’s the beauty of obedience — it clears the fog and brings you back to truth.
Obedience as Trust
Biblically, obedience is about trust.
It’s not blind submission; it’s saying, “I don’t have to see the whole picture to know the Painter is good.”
When God asks for obedience, He’s not testing loyalty for the sake of power — He’s teaching rhythm.
A rhythm that leads to joy, protection, and purpose.
Like a parent holding a child’s hand before crossing the street — not because the child can’t walk, but because they can’t yet see the traffic coming.
“Obedience is the first step of freedom.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
When you start seeing obedience as protection instead of punishment, you begin to understand love on a different level.
The Soul’s Rest
There’s beauty in obeying what’s right even when no one’s watching.
There’s rest in doing what your soul knows is good, even when your emotions disagree.
In a world obsessed with independence, obedience becomes an act of peace.
It’s how you find rhythm in the noise, and grace in the grind.
Because the fact of the matter is — obedience doesn’t make you smaller.
It refines you.
It doesn’t rob you of freedom.
It teaches you how to use it.
“He who has conquered himself is free.”
— Epictetus“If you love me, keep my commandments.”
— John 14:15
Final Reflection
The fact of the matter is — freedom and obedience were never meant to be enemies.
Freedom without obedience is noise; obedience without love is slavery.
But when love drives obedience, and obedience anchors freedom, peace follows.
This is the paradox the world doesn’t understand — that surrender can be strength, and submission can be victory.
To obey what is right, what is true, what is holy, isn’t weakness.
It’s the highest form of courage.
“Only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Faith and obedience walk hand in hand — one fuels trust, the other proves it.
So if you find yourself fighting everything around you, maybe the battle isn’t out there.
Maybe it’s in your alignment.
Because obedience doesn’t chain you down — it builds the character strong enough to walk in freedom.
What a great question - I love this question. It may take a few paragraphs to answer, but I’m excited about it.
You’re right that I didn’t give much contextual alignment with Bonhoeffer, and I appreciate you catching that. I think it’s first important to understand what the Bible means by “religion.” James 1:27 defines it clearly:
“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this: To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”
In essence, pure religion isn’t about rituals, appearances, or self-righteousness - it’s about compassion and integrity. It’s love in action: caring for the vulnerable and living with moral purity, refusing to let the world’s values corrupt you.
I believe Bonhoeffer rejected what religion had become in his day. He saw a church filled with rules, pride, and compromise - many even bending to the Nazi regime - and he had enough of it. He refused to fall in line with the tyrannical government and the churches that knelt to it, choosing instead obedience to God. His dissidence had an aim and a purpose - it wasn’t rebellion for rebellion’s sake, but conviction grounded in faith to God.
Bonhoeffer’s idea of “religionless Christianity” wasn’t about removing faith - it was about removing pretense. He wanted a faith stripped of empty performance, one that lived and breathed obedience to Christ in the midst of a corrupt world. His life proved that obedience to God often means standing against the systems that misuse His name.
I grew up in Baptist churches and have visited many others, and I’ve seen how easily churches can lose sight of that purpose. When religion becomes about image, comparison, or control, it slows down the believer’s walk with God and dulls their obedience to Him.
I do believe church is essential for every Christian, but I’ve also seen how easily churches can drift from the purpose God laid out in Scripture. I think that’s what Bonhoeffer was getting at - not a rejection of the Church, but a call to return to the heart of faith: obedience, compassion, and integrity before God. And he was willing to give his life for obedience to God rather than obedience to a drifted church that feared the government more than it feared God.
The context of each quote.
We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.
Bonhoeffer originally wrote this from prison reflecting on how we should see others - especially in a world full of guilt and suffering. He said instead of judging people by their actions or failures, we should look at what they have been through and the pain that shapes them.
So even though the quote is not written specifically about obedience or rebellion, it fits. A lot of people that seem to be defiant or distrustful aren’t just being difficult; they have been hurt.
When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
We have to die to our own ego to discover the deeper purpose and significance of our lives are meant to hold. Bonhoeffer reminds us that true significance does not come from elevating ourselves, but from surrendering ourselves.
Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
The quote grounds the contrast- where ego seeks control, obedience accepts responsibility.
I hope this answers your question and I would be delighted to know what parts you disagree with if you would like to share.
Thank you.
Interesting article. Some of it I agree with. Some of it I don’t - but not out of disobedience or rebellion! Question: you’ve quoted Bonhoeffer a few times in this article - without any context. I’m curious what you think he stands for and now his dissidence and “religionless Christianity” fits into this quest for obedience? Thanks.