What Fight Club Taught Me About Confidence

Your worth isn’t parked in the driveway

A couple of years ago, I had a client who had this line in his Twitter bio:
“You are not your f*cking khakis.”

I had no idea what that meant, so I was curious and looked it up. Apparently, it was from a movie called Fight Club. I had never seen it, so I decided to watch it.

When I came across the line in the movie, I still didn’t fully understand what it meant.

It wasn’t until a few years later, while watching a YouTube compilation of movie clips, that the line came up again. This time, I knew exactly what it meant.

What the movie was trying to say was this:
You are not your possessions.

It’s easy, as we accumulate nicer things over time, to unconsciously attach our confidence—or even our identity—to them.

A nice house on the block can make you feel confident around your neighbors.
A nice car makes you feel confident on the road.
Nice clothes make you feel confident when you're out in public engaging with others.

But take all of those things away— how do you feel about yourself?
When you're left with nothing, and it’s just you… what is left?

I know the line is a little crude, but it’s the absolute truth: we are not our possessions.

We cannot let ourselves attach our sense of value and worth to the things we own. Our possessions can easily be wiped away by a job loss, a medical emergency, or a natural disaster.

I write this as a reminder—to myself and to you—to be careful.

When you get nice things, appreciate them.
Enjoy them.
Have fun.
But be careful not to let them be the reason you’re confident.

There’s another line in the movie, something Tyler Durden says:

I hope this serves as a wake-up call to you, and a simple reminder to myself:

As we strive to be better and move up in the world, let’s keep the right perspective on our possessions—and the things we seek to acquire.