Why Purpose Feels Heavy (And Why It Should)
Comfort distracts, but responsibility gives life meaning.
I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose lately.
Not just in the religious sense - though faith will always shape that conversation - but in the everyday sense. What gives life meaning? What makes the struggle worth it?
Across traditions and philosophies, the answer keeps circling back to the same thing: responsibility.
Jordan Peterson states it well: “The meaning of life is to be found through responsibility, through making the conscious decision to pick up a load and carry it. Responsibility makes it all worthwhile.”
Viktor Frankl echoed it decades earlier in Man’s Search for Meaning: “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
And it isn’t just philosophy - it shows up in the data too. Studies have found that people who step away from responsibility often decline faster. In the Whitehall II study, verbal memory dropped 38% faster after retirement compared to before, even when adjusting for aging. Broader analyses show similar patterns: full retirement is linked to measurable declines in mental health, mobility, and overall wellbeing.
On the other hand, a long-term UC Davis study tracked over 13,000 adults for 15 years and found that those with a strong sense of purpose were about 28% less likely to develop cognitive impairment. Responsibility and purpose don’t just feel meaningful - they appear to be protective.
It seems every path worth following leads to the same conclusion. Purpose isn’t about chasing comfort. It’s about taking on weight, willingly, because in that burden lies your calling.
The Burden That Builds You
Think of Albert Camus’ image of Sisyphus - the man condemned to push a boulder up the mountain for eternity.
Camus writes: “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
At first glance, that sounds absurd. Happy? In endless struggle?
But Camus wasn’t glorifying futility. He was pointing at a deeper truth: meaning is found in the act of striving itself.
Short-term pleasure - Netflix binges, mindless scrolling, distractions - feels good in the moment. But years later, what do they leave behind? A trail of wasted time. A life lived passively.
Responsibility feels heavy in the short term. But in the long run, it’s what allows you to look back without regret. It creates a life you can call your own.
Marcus Aurelius reminded himself daily: “Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.”
That’s the weight worth carrying - not for the sake of hardship itself, but for the good it produces in the lives of others.
The purpose of life, as far as I can tell… is to find a mode of being that’s so meaningful that the fact that life is suffering is no longer relevant. - Jordan Peterson
Memento Mori
I carry this reminder on my arm: memento mori. Remember death.
It’s not morbid - it’s liberating. It reminds me that if I don’t make it home today, I want to leave behind more than just possessions. I want to leave behind impact.
Nietzsche said: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” That “why” isn’t built on pleasure or comfort. It’s built on burden, responsibility, and love for others.
When you live like this, regrets change. Instead of regretting what you never did, you regret less. You may still wish you had done some things differently, but you can look back and say: “I spent my life on something that mattered.”
Choosing Your Regrets
In the end, we don’t get to avoid regret. We only get to choose which regrets we live with.
Do you want to regret not chasing your purpose? Or regret a life spent on distraction, maintenance, and comfort?
Pain is unavoidable. Struggle is unavoidable. So why not let it count?
Why not live so that when you reach the end, you can say:
All that struggle.
All that effort.
All that pain and suffering… It was worth it.
Because it helped others carry their burdens.
Because it left the world a little better than we found it.
The act of striving itself is meaningful. I KNOW my North Star, I KNOW where I want to go in life. Responsibility…reminds of Spider-Man. Everyday when I come home from my college class or work, I enter this realm of possibilities, where solitude becomes my companion and the catalyst to my strength. Outside the realm of work and school, I enter another realm, a void between worlds and I create. I write. I read. I self-reflect. I pick up my film camera. I find pleasure in the simple things and joy results from that acknowledgement.
When I decided to take up more responsibility at 16, all my other friends looked at me like I’m crazy but 4 years later, I’m about to graduate with 2 degrees, self-publish a book, and maximize my authenticity not for the world but for myself. For the little boy who had dreams of going in adventures and exploring the world.
I love reading your work and I’m grateful for the insight you’ve shared.